I do believe there's a difference between love and inlove, I felt "inlove" and it ended badly and I've felt many things for guys after that but not like that one time, I do believe that its because of that "inlove"  feeling that I felt, which is why I've had so many bf's. I was searching for that feeling I felt that one time and even though I'm over that guy that made me feel "inlove" a feeling remained; of wanting to be fed with happiness and love.

 I will one day go back to him and tell him that before you I never believed in love, commitment, marriage and he concept of inlove and to ask what happened between us ..cause I'm still confused

"If you ever leave me baby,

leave some morphine at my door

cause it'll take a whole lot of medication to realise what we use to have and don't have it anymore

there's no religion that can save me

no matter how long my knees are on the floor

so keep in mind all the sacrifices I'm makin'

to keep you by my side to keep you from walking out that door"

[Just more words on the state you left me in]

And once aagin you've turned around for the millionth time, to QUESTION me !! as to why I've found someone else, but you have not yet, NOT ONCE, turned around and said I'M SORRY ! For lying,

for never calling when your ex swore at me made me think you cheating on me,

 never once called to say you're OKAY when you didn't show up to work so many times,

for never takin' me to the movies like you said,

for makin' me cry,

for makin' me feel like someone stabbed my heart,

for never giving me the love I gave you,

for the sacrifices I made,

for not allowing me to help you,

for not opening up when all I wanted was for you to be fully

part of my life,

for never letting me see that day when I can say "You're the one"

"Look how far we came together"

For never just telling me how you really FEEL..

[We spoke about marriage, children, how everything will be in our future]

When we go through break ups its the moments you had with that person that remains, and the moments I had with him is unexplainable.

I wana smile non-stop to things that make me happy, I wana laugh when something is really funny, I wana know that there's a future where I'm wakin' up in the morning in a bunglow, with the sound of chimes and dream catches, to the smell of good weed and when I open that curtain I wana see an island, where lots of people are outside feelin' the great positivity, the clear blue water and the soft sand, ask me what I want out of life, that's what I'll tell you.

  So they say if you going through sh*t, fake it till you make it,

or its all about time, or you will get over it, life goes on, just focus on somethin' else.

I hear you, but if I was in your shoes I'd say go get that motherf*cker, go show him how you

feel, how do I feel?

I imagine myself standing infront of him and asking why did you do this to me? And take a knife and stab myself in the heart and I want him to watch how my blood drips from my mouth as I put that knife in my guts.

Maybe that makes me sick but thats how I feel.